There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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