so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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