i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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