Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
