Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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