it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
