someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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