Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize