P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
