someone owes me an orgasm
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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