you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
