I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
