By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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