The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
