Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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