Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
