i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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