How'd it feel making her break her religion?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
