I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
