And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
