I just pynch a tree in the face
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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