Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
4 words: hood of his car
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
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