is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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