My balls are so social today.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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