Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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