We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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