so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i dont even know how to be here
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
