apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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