What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
