There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
