just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm passing your future prison.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
