I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Sext me about skeletons
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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