Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He passed out mid-signature
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
