chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
not ubering you a puppy
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
