My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
