The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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