Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize