I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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