You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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