I skipped work to stalk him.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
