I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
