It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
