Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
