he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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