That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
