You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
