Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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