youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
