OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
operation have a gay friend backfired
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
