It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
