what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
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i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
