Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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