You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Randomize
