brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
