All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
