Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
