He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
