I just made out with a guy for $7.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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