my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
