She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize