So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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