So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize