she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
