I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
